Maggie (2015)

** out of ****

Zombies are so in right now that even Arnold Schwarzenegger thought they might revive his barely-breathing movie career. But they can't.

Maggie seems to me to have been written about a girl with a terminal illness and her relationship with her Dad, who is desperate to save her. My guess is that the screenwriter decided the story was a bit dull and tried to liven it up by making the terminal illness “zombie-ism”. Unfortunately, it didn't do much to liven it up.

Maggie (Abigail Breslin) has been bitten by a zombie, meaning her days are numbered before she transforms into one herself. The world is suffering from an outbreak of zombie-ism, though society seems to be dealing with it like a SARS epidemic and going on with business-pretty-much-as-usual. Maggie's father (Arnold Schwarzenegger) gets her out of a hospital so he can have her at home, and he resists any attempt by the authorities to remove her. Good for him – who'd want their teenager to die alone and terrified in a cold institution?

Maggie tries to go on with her life as best she can knowing the end is near, spending time with friends and attempting to cope with her impending fate. Her father is at least as tormented, especially about the idea of what he will undoubtedly have to do after she “turns”. He is far less concerned than I would have been in the same position, sleeping with the door open and trying to act like everything's okay. Of course, things go downhill and the only question is, will she take him with her when she goes?

Two things. First, this movie is deadly boring. The story crawls along and never really gives you much excitement or emotion. Second.... Arnold is actually really good in it. The role of Maggie's dad is that of a man who is tortured by the things he must do and his hopes for his daughter that he knows can never come true. I would have thought Arnold would overact, trying to muscle his torment into our faces, but he plays it subtlety and in a very subdued way that actually made you see it in him. Kudos to Arnold – he's never been much good at anything but action heroes, but in “Maggie” he shows that he may have picked up some decent chops along the way.

Unfortunately, even Arnie's effort don't save this from being a dull, dreary and unhappy film.