Ted 2 (2015)

* out of ****

I'll be brief....

“Ted” (2012) was a major disappointment to me. I like Marky Mark as an actor and I think Seth MacFarland's TV show is hysterical. I further think MacFarland is a very intelligent and likeable guy. But “Ted” sucked. I mean, really, really sucked. What was most shocking to me was that MacFarland could take such a funny premise and make something so un-funny with it. But I am starting to see a pattern – MacFarland's “A Million Ways to Die in the West” (2014) was better, but even more uneven. Perhaps he just isn't a “movie” guy.....

So why did I see “Ted 2”? Because it was at the back end of a double feature at the drive in. And I will say this – it's better than the first one. It couldn't NOT be better than the first one. But even this one is little more than a waste of celluloid. The funniest thing in it is a cameo from Liam Neeson, and even it isn't that funny. Yes, there are some wisecracks and one-liners that make you laugh, but it is just a big ol' waste of time.

In short, Ted and his wife try to adopt. The state decides Ted isn't a “person” and not only rejects the adoption request, it annuls his marriage. It alleges to take away more rights.... but since Ted does nothing of value for anyone, he never would have known the difference. They take it to court, fight for his rights, and basically waste 2 entire hours of your life that you can never have back.

If you think Jonah Hill and/or Danny McBride are funny, you'll think “Ted 2” is funny. If you think their “humour” could only appeal to a moron of the highest order, you'll hate it. Stay away. Far, far away.